Since I started reading your blog I have noticed that you have a secret beer stash that you hoard beer at near one of your frequented (or maybe formerly frequented) mountain biking spots. You have referenced this in several posts, maybe on purpose or maybe just through photo evidence.
I am interested in learning the skill of stashing beer to enjoy later i.e. after work when I am riding home. How do you do it? What do you do to keep the coveted beer at an enjoyable temperature? Do you offer a ‘Beer Stashing 101′ course?
Teach us your ways, oh wise Stevil!
Thanks dude, stay rad.
Matt from Central Minnesota”
This might be the newest segment on this site. Some kind of advice column but where people pose questions of the banal, and I answer them incorrectly.
I’ll talk to my people about it.
Anyway, as I told Matt, ocasionally when traveling into the woods, I will bring along a six pack with me, leave four for later and drink two for now. The best spot to leave a can, or two, or more is under a downed tree, or anywhere that might act as a suitable landmark. I have cans of beer stashed all over Santa Cruz County that I will never be able to find again because I didn’t follow the landmark rule. The other benefit of keeping them buried is that no matter how high the temps rise, the canned goodness will always stay chilled;
A third and final advantage of stashing beer is that when riding with friends, when emerging from the bushes with cold beer for everyone, you might as well put a crown on your head, because at that point there is no one more awesome on the planet.
I will conclude this lesson with a funny, albeit cautionary tale. Several winters ago I picked a big redwood log just off of a well frequented trail. When I returned to the spot the following spring, I was dismayed to find that a legion of army ants had built a huge hill upon my stash spot. While I knew that these little beasts protected my booty, I also knew that they weren’t discriminating about who they would swarm when disturbed. I very carefully dug out my treasure with a long stick, and did my best to return their home to its original condition when I was finished. I thanked them for their services by leaving a piece of my sandwich for them to destroy and forever after hid my stash at the opposite end of their log.
So there you have it. Lessons learned for everyone. Just remember, though our cup of apathy might be overflowing, a hidden stash of beer never can be.
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